How I Learnt to Transform OCD into the Biggest Neurological Advantage
From year 4 of primary/middle school onwards, all I wanted was to be happy and not mentally suffer in the prison that was my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) brain.
But I couldn’t accept that my brain naturally worked differently to others, I didn’t know how to let go of the emotions that had built up for so many years and I had no idea how to wake up simply being a happy and functioning human being.
By the end of this Procedure, you’ll have gained crazy insight and actionable steps forward as I guide you through my journey of not just overcoming OCD, but turning it into the biggest neurological advantage imaginable.
Disclaimer: Any reader who hasn’t been diagnosed with OCD, I don’t want you to self-diagnose. However, you can always take my personal experience described below and use it to reduce the negative impact of intrusive thoughts, become socially confident and to be excited to wake up in the morning.
If anything discussed in this video makes you freak out for any reason, discuss it with your therapist, uni counsellor or psychologist.
What is OCD and what can it look like?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is described by Mayo Clinic as, “[featuring] a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears known as obsessions. These obsessions lead you to do repetitive behaviours, also called compulsions”.
An example of what this looks like include hot and cold, tingly or strange sensations that urge you to relieve such feelings with a specific compulsive action.
It could mean worrying about bad things happening to your loved ones if you don’t turn around in a circle 4 times and then once to the left, every time you’re about to walk in your front door. If you don’t turn around in the right way, you may feel you need to repeat it again.
The reason this needs to be addressed is because OCD compulsions can waste a lot of time and can make you feel like you’re trapped in your own mind. You can’t be present when socialising with people and you’re never experiencing the juice of life because you’re fixated on the intrusive thoughts arising in your head.
I went from being mentally imprisoned for years, to significantly reducing my OCD.
Let’s explore how I did it.
If you focus on fixing your anxiety to become “normal” like the extroverts you see around you, you will suffer for an eternity.
Upon reflection, the first step I took towards feeling mentally free, socially capable and happy despite having OCD was Self-Acknowledgement. I accepted the way my brain functioned instead of believing I had to “fix” it until it worked the same as “normal” people. The following diagram demonstrates how this works:
At 11 years old, my psychologist in Wollongong Greg Konza taught me to observe my thoughts and detach from them using one simple strategy: Whenever an intrusive thought popped up in my mind and told me to follow a compulsive habit, I’d say, “Ah, there’s the overthinking story again. I’ve heard it a million times”. It was a story my mind made up to keep me safe from things like social situations.
While this lesson got me started in self-reflection and mindfulness, the years of high school that followed had me comparing myself to extroverts thinking “if only I was like them”. However I now realise how many advantages you and I have that those people don’t have.
If you want to learn about the potential advantages of OCD, answer the 11 Steps to Social and Happiness Elevation and read the feedback at the end.
If you don’t accept your brain for the way it neurologically works, you won’t be able to process the anger, sadness and pain associated with your mental imprisonment over the years. Without processing that pain, you cannot start building a new identity, since you can’t let go of the old one.
2 steps for you to follow so far:
Read the diagram above.
Walk up to a mirror and say, “I accept you, [insert your full name]”.
I know acceptance isn’t easy, but it is necessary in order to succeed with the rest of these steps. Understood?
Self acceptance and acknowledgment of my intrusive thoughts allowed me to let go of my pain through Self-Expression. Let’s explore what that expression looked like.
Experiencing mental freedom and joy almost everyday, requires letting go of the pain developed from your old identity so that you can freely build a new one.
The biggest thing for me in my early stages was implementing both an Expression Activity and a Release Activity. The Expression activity involved songwriting and rapping and the Release Activity involved releasing endorphins and deeply-held emotion by exercising. Both are methods of expression though, so I will use the term “expression” while describing both activities.
On 27/10/2018, a note I wrote says, “I’m in my head a lot, I think about many different concepts of life and music helps me look at those things in different ways or fresh eyes each time I think about them”.
The note below is a rap song I wrote at 14 yrs old.
The rapping symbolised letting go of built-up pain and emotion which climaxed in 2020 when I looked myself in the mirror, dead in the eyes and said, “Riley, I f*cking hate you”.
That was one of the most truthful things I ever said and from there my motivation skyrocketed as I decided I would never live like this again.
Without these expressions of feeling, I don’t think I would’ve been capable of reflecting deep enough to uncover what man I wanted to become, what they would value and to start building that identity.
Even in the last 1.5 years, my creative expression has been through posting content online - the Peaky Pines Community!
Therefore, without creative expression, I’d be absolutely nowhere near the man I am today and I need you to deeply understand that.
To take action, my question for you is this: if you were to cry tears of pain or to release emotions by yelling “AHHHHH”, what activity would you be doing in that moment? Running, cycling, poetry, talking to a camera, drawing/painting, writing, singing, rapping?
This question will help us uncover both the Expression and the Release Activity. We’ll turn this activity what I call an Associative Habit.
First, identify the time in your day where you’d have the most available time.
I recommend the second after you wake up, which may mean waking up slightly earlier. At the chosen time of day, identity things you commonly do such as drinking water, washing your hands, brushing your teeth or simply waking up ;).
Refer to this personal example of how I commit to yoga everyday in order to build your first Associative Habit:
I wake up.
Turn off my alarm.
Walk around the other side of the bed to open the curtains.
Fix up my bedsheets.
Walk back around the bed to my desk where I literally pick it up and put it on my bed (I live in a small studio).
To finally start yoga I will pick up the yoga mat from the floor and spread it out.
Now I do the yoga 😸.
You can see how I “associate” each piece of the habit with the next and I do them in the same order every time. That’s how it’s done baby.
It would be convenient if your Expression Activity was the same as your exercise-related Release Activity, but most of the Expression Activity’s power comes from creative expression, so you should create a separate Associative Habit for exercise which will be known as your Release Activity.
If you want inspiration as for what exercising to start with, use one of these:
Pushups until failure
Running
Weights.
Yoga
Accepting the nature of your brain is necessary to become a new man and start respecting yourself, while the Expression and Release Activities are required to let go of your past self. It’s time to discuss how one becomes a new man.
The hardest part about becoming a new person, is knowing what person you want to become.
This stage of the process may not come until 6 months from now, after you’ve accepted your brain and stayed consistent with the Expression and Release Activities. At this point you need to uncover what human traits and characteristics you value the most and to understand where you’d like to be in the next 2-10 years.
Read this Procedure to learn the exact steps of doing this. If you don’t want to read the whole thing, scroll down to the subheading “Overcoming constant social fear and discomfort is like looking for paradise in the desert” and read on from there.
The human traits and characteristics that you value most will be used as the foundations to build further Associative Habits you’ll insert into your day. These habits will give you the ability to say, “I’m the kind of man who xyz”, which is the primary way you’ll rewire your brain into an entirely different human. For example:
If I get a temptation to watch pornography while I’m writing this but then bring my attention back, I can say, “I’m the kind of man who stays calm, focused and disciplined even when temptation attacks. I hold authority over my mind”.
You can see now that Associative Habits are like the roots of cheeky little saplings - their impact digs deeper into your soul with each repetition until you’re a big whoppin tree.
By releasing the pain of your prior self through creative expression and euphoric endorphins released through exercise, you can turn your OCD into a massive advantage.
This Procedure was the process, but the details of such advantages are to be found in the 11 Steps to Social and Happiness Elevation.
Considering how comprehensive this Procedure is and how it involves my previous posts and multiple resources, I need you to save this page on your phone or laptop so you can refer back to it when needed. The fact that you’re still reading means you’re just like me. Your potential is huge and your success inevitable.
If you want a solution much faster and with a lot less pain, apply here to partner with me. If you’re not willing to invest in your own success, I’m not sure what to tell you.
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Talk soon,
Riley Caldwell.
