How to Become Confident as a Young Guy
You want to be confident, comfortable being yourself, and able to express your own opinions without hesitation. But right now, you're feeling lost, overwhelmed, and unsure how to just be yourself and do what you want. By following this guide, you'll discover a simple, daily practice that can help transform your doubt and discomfort into unshakeable confidence.
The Foundation of Confidence
True confidence isn’t about being loud or outgoing. It’s about having faith in yourself, a sense of certainty, and being comfortable with who you are. Accepting outcomes, regardless of how uncertain the external world is, plays a crucial role in building genuine confidence.
One effective way to foster this kind of confidence is by stepping out of your comfort zone. Whether it’s practicing a martial art like jiu-jitsu, tackling a difficult project, or simply committing to show up every day—these actions help you build faith and trust in yourself. The more you handle unexpected challenges, the easier it becomes to accept any outcome.
Personal Story - Big Adventure
Six months ago, I spontaneously decided to see the Californian Redwoods in South-West Victoria, within the Great Otway National Park. With no detailed planning, I embarked on this adventure. I took a train to Geelong, a bus to Torquay, and managed to hop on a coach to Apollo Bay, right at the bottom of Mainland Australia. I had fish and chips, enjoyed a pint of Carlton Draught, and slept on the beach.
The next morning, I woke up early, hoping to get a ride to the Redwood forest. Unfortunately, no rides were available, and walking there would take too long. I had to return home without seeing the Redwoods. But this wasn’t a failure. The commitment to the journey, adapting to the situation, and social interactions along the way helped me build trust in myself. That experience taught me that even when things don’t go as planned, I can handle it. And that’s where real confidence comes from.
Personal Story - Small Moments
Confidence also comes from smaller, everyday moments. For example, recently, after shopping at Aldi, I decided to walk into a nearby bar and get a shot of Sambuca. With my Aldi bag in hand, I chatted with the bartender, had my drink, and left. It was a small moment, but it reinforced my comfort with being myself and doing what I wanted, regardless of what others might think. These seemingly insignificant acts are steps toward building trust in oneself.
Daily Reflection Practice
A simple daily practice can help you build this kind of confidence: spend 5 minutes each morning reflecting on the uncertainties you might face that day. Write them down.
Then, after each one, write "Maybe." For example:
"Will I mess up that presentation?" - "Maybe I will, maybe not."
"Will they like me?" - "Maybe they will, maybe they won’t."
"Should I have said something different?" - "Maybe I should’ve, maybe I shouldn’t have."
"Did I embarrass myself yesterday?" - "Maybe I did, maybe not."
"What if I can’t finish this task on time?" - "Maybe I will, maybe I won’t."
"Will I regret making this decision?" - "Maybe I will, maybe I won’t."
"Can I handle that confrontation?" - "Maybe I can, maybe not."
"Will they judge me for what I said?" - "Maybe they will, maybe not."
"What if I don’t know what to say?" - "Maybe I will, maybe I won’t."
"Am I making the right choices for my future?" - "Maybe I am, maybe not."
This practice might seem small, but it’s incredibly powerful. By acknowledging the uncertainties and accepting that things might not go perfectly, you start to let go of the need for control. This shift helps you build internal certainty, as you stop relying on the external world for your sense of self-worth.
Living with Confidence
Imagine living with the kind of confidence where you’re comfortable trying new things, meeting new people, and expressing your true thoughts. You might find yourself jumping off bridges into water with friends, exploring abandoned places just for the thrill, or dancing in shops because you feel like it. You might start conversations with people you’re attracted to, not out of a need to impress, but from genuine interest in connecting.
With this level of confidence, life becomes an open playground. You stop holding yourself back and begin living the way you’ve always wanted. This mindset allows you to experience the things you've always dreamed of without fear or hesitation.
Conclusion
If you've been struggling with doubt, fear, and insecurity, try the daily reflection practice. Spend a few minutes each morning reflecting on uncertainties, and then let them go by writing "Maybe." Over time, this will help you build the kind of unshakeable confidence that can transform your life.
True confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being okay with whatever happens and knowing you can handle it. By adopting this mindset, you'll be on the path to becoming the confident, authentic person you’ve always wanted to be.
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